I took Oscar with me on a walk around the neighborhood last night. He has been laying on the back of the couch for the past several days looking forlornly out the window and sighing. So dramatic. It was a little bit pitiful how excited he got when I put his leash on him – he RAN our the door. I’m a bad pug mother.
Well, he showed me. We got down to the neighborhood lake, which is clearly and rather menacingly marked with all kinds of “no trespassing/fishing/swimming” signs. Not that Oscar can read or anything.
He was getting hot by this time, panting and writhing on the ground like he was trying to get the halter off. Since we were away from the road, I decided to take it off of him for “just a minute” and when I did, he ran straight for the lake. Of course.
It is a pretty lake to look at, especially from a distance, but let me tell you, it is nasty. There is a thin layer of ??? across the surface – mud, algae, slime, I’m not sure what it is. Oscar can tell you how it tastes, though, since he went right down and jumped in it and started lapping up large mouthfuls of it. He drank like he hadn’t had water in weeks.
Well, there was no chance I was going anywhere near the snake-y bank of that lake, so I promised him multiple treats, toys, walks, scratches and rides and when that didn’t work, I began threatening whippings in a loud whisper while looking over my shoulder for the police, humane society, or the neighbors. I faked that I was going to leave him and started jogging away. He didn’t care. I left out one word, though, and when I said it, he raced up the bank and into his harness:
Which of course he did NOT get, because he was in the bathtub as soon as we got back. He was so slimy and gross. I can’t even think about it. He turned the bathwater brown and I even had to clean the tub out afterwards.
Never again, Oscar.
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