Thrift Store Finds

I love thrift store shopping.  What can I say?  I am my mother’s daughter. Here are a few pictures of some funny/bizarre/creepy things I saw (but did NOT buy, obviously, I hope):

From top to bottom, left to right:

1. wall plaque

2. owl statue with one missing eye– I sent this pic to Daddy saying “guess where I am?” thinking the answer would be obvious, but he replied “a zoo?”

3. “I love my mudder” vase.  Me too!

4. A framed photograph of a witch’s parking spot, complete with a pun.  Could it get any worse?

5.  Marriage videos

6. An Alaska gown…too funny.

Kid in the Background Goin’ Cah-raaaazzzy!!!

Spicy chicken Ramen noodles with egg at 11 pm?  Gaining 190 pounds from eating too many grapes & cherries?

Yeah right.

A Christian hymn blasting on repeat at Sips & Strokes?

Get real.

An altercation in the Wal-Mart parking lot that involved hearing Brent yell at a woman from across the parking lot?

He’s got it going Bossanova….

Lobster guts?

“What is this gahbige?”

“You’re NOT going to tell me to shut up in my own house!”

No way.  Not now, not evah.

He Said/She Said: Baby Bird Edition

 

Brent: I think your baby birds are dead.

Christen: What?!?!

Brent: Yeah, there are some cats that have been hanging around the front porch lately….

Christen: What?!? No!

Brent: You said you hadn’t seen the birds lately, right……?

Christen: No!  There’s no way the cats could climb up and reach that nest!!!

Brent: When birds are learning to fly, they aren’t good at first. If a cat was hanging around waiting, it could certainly catch one.

Christen: Brent!! Really?! I think they just grew up and flew off!  Why would you say that?!

Brent (throwing hands up in air): I’m just saying….

***several hours pass ***

Christen (obviously still dwelling on it): Well, I decided you are wrong about the birds. Because if the cats got them, there would be feathers in the yard!  I went out and looked and I never found one feather laying around!

Brent: Oh, those birds were tiny….a cat could just gobble them up whole.

Wah wah wah…..

Friday Off

Anyone that knows me knows how much I love my new job, even thought I can’t talk about work on the blog.  With my old schedule, I worked every other weekend and had one weekday off every week.  While I HATED working every other weekend with every atom of my being, I did enjoy my weekday off days.  It was nice to be off and have the whole day and house to myself.  Plus it was really convenient for running errands and doing things that you can’t do or don’t want to do on Saturdays.

So, even though I loved my weekdays off with my old schedule, I was never – ever – very productive on these days – at all.  For the most part, I would read, watch TV, surf the internet, go shopping, etc, etc.  I don’t know why, but when I am home alone with no oversight, my day just degenerates into pure foolishness.  I bake & eat too many baked goods, take too many photos, waste hours of time on the internet (you tube!), nap, and/or watch and re-watch movies and TV shows. 

This past Friday was just like old times.  Lazy, ridiculous, silly, and totally unproductive.

Classy

Obviously I have no self-respect.

The first time I ever had a McRib is a funny story, or a very sad and concerning story, depending on how you look at it. When I was in elementary school, one time my class went on a field trip.  I don’t remember which grade I was in or where we went on the field trip.  I only know that I was very young, still at Fairview, and on the way back from this field trip we stopped at McDonalds, a place my family never went to growing up. Well, on this particular field trip all the other kids got Happy Meals and I got a McRib. Oh yes.  AND I ate the whole thing, onions and all, and it was very good.  I am my father’s daughter, what can I say?

Maybe I have changed things in my mind over the years, but I just remember there being a general astonishment in the air that day among the other kids about me & my “adult” meal.  And then later, when I got home, I told Daddy about it and his eyes got wide and he laughed and I remember feeling like he was impressed and maybe a little proud of me.  Ha!  It’s funny how we remember things like that.  I was so young!  The sad thing is that the McRib is literally the ONLY thing I remember about that trip….not the destination, not my friends, NOTHING but fake pork!  So, like I said, it is either funny or sad, depending on how you look at it. 

So tonight, as I was eating the fat-and-calorie-laden pseudo meat, I got to thinking about my top 10 favorite favorite fast foods……(Kourtney, be careful reading this; it might trigger a binge – YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!)

Top Ten Favorite Fast-Food Items (in no particular order)

1. McDonald’s fries

2. Chick-Fil-A waffle fries

3. Chick-Fil-A chicken nuggets

4. Dominos thin crust pepperoni pizza

5.  Taco Bell Mexi Melt with no pico sauce

6. Chicken McNuggets

7. Auntie Anne’s original pretzel with mustard

8. Subway meatball sub

9. Long John Silvers’ chicken planks

10.  Pizza Hut’s mild buffalo chicken wings + ranch

This is no lie: one evening, in college, a friend and I got in my car and drove around to 3 or 4 different fast food restaurants to make a complete meal.  We got Whoppers, McDonald’s fries, and a Dairy Queen Blizzard for dessert and ate it on the floor of my dorm room before hanging pictures using my high-heeled sandals as a hammer.  So, as you can see, I have always had a very classy life.  HA!

And since I’m on a roll, here’s another one for you (yes, I’m aware that this exercise in gluttony is probably just as unhealthy as the food I am listing):

Top Ten BEST Fast Food Desserts (in no particular order)

1. Chick-Fil-A cookies & cream milkshake (size small) with whipped cream & a cherry on top

2. Krispy Kreme hot doughnuts, obviously

3.  McDonald’s apple pie + soft serve ice cream, eaten like this: one bite of apple pie, one spoon of ice cream & throw the rest of the ice cream away when the pie is gone

4. Bruster’s cookies & cream ice cream (two scoops) in a sugar cone

5. TCBY yogurt parfait with vanilla yogurt + Reese cups ($1.99 on Saturdays!)

6. Reese Blizzard from the Dairy Queen in Pelham, AL – this particular DQ is VERY generous with the Reese’s

7. Strawberry shortcake from SouperSalad (thanks a lot, Mother!)

8. Chocolate Lava Cake from Dominos (my fave!)

9.  Half moon cookies from Full Moon BBQ

10. McDonald’s caramel sundae (very hard to find!)

Why does fast food have to taste so good when it is so terrible for you?!?!  I have seen those documentaries and have read exposes of the fast food industry and honestly, they have not quelled my love for fast food in the least.  Sadly. 

Infested

Yesterday we stopped by Academy Sports while waiting for Due Date to start.  We scored big off the clearance rack: rubber snakes for 48 cents!  We were so excited, just imagining the infinite number of practical jokes we could play with these babies (I’m probably ruining it by posting it on the blog!). For now, all bets are off as Brent and I are frantically trying to make each other scream.  The Freeman household is officially infested with snakes!

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