Ode to the Gouch

Monday: haircut

 

Tuesday: the gouch

[For reference only: the first gout attack – May 2008, in Hawaii.]

So, in this family, what do we do when some one is suffering a painful attack of the gout (gouch)? 

We write poems and songs about it and take this opportunity to poke fun at the victim!

A compilation of hits:

There once was a boy with the gouch

Who whined all the time, like a grouch

He rides his bike all day

but does not like to say

hey kourt, happy birthday

 

There is an ole boy named the grouch

Because of his terrible gouch

He buzzed all his hair

And summer styles he would wear

But dont step on his toe or he'll swear

 

There once was a man named Brent

Who's belly button is full of lint

He has hair no moe

All he says is "so"

Just make sure and stay off my big toe

 

There once was a wife so sweet

All she did was blog about treats

She blogged on the couch

With her husband the grouch

And made fun of his funky gouch

 

There once was a beast called the gouch

At night by the bed he would crouch

When the dreams would begin

Then the gouch would creep in

How he loved to make people say "Ouch!"

 

There once was a man with no care

Who let a woman cut off all his hair

He woke up with the gouch

and he moaned from the couch

"This pain is just too much to bear!"

 

There once was a man with the gout

Who said to his wife: "There's no doubt

that my strength was contained

in my thick black mane.

Will you suck my big toe while I pout?"

 

There once was a man with the gouch.

It would make him scream, "Ouch."

His wife asked what was wrong

as he sang the "Ouch" song.

When she saw it was his big toe

She took a big knife and the gouch is "no moe."

 

Let’s all say ouch

For the bad ole gouch

It’ll hit yo big toe

And Lawd is it so’.

 

And some thoughts from the lone sympathizer (edited for clarity):

“The people making the rhymes about the gouch has never had it. Tell Brent I feel for him and hope that it leaves soon.”

Donny Anderson

 

Happy to report that it was gone the very next day!

{Me, impersonating the gouch}