Domestic Fail

It was doomed from the start.

A few weeks ago, I saw a recipe for this peach cobbler in Southern Living.  Never mind that I have never really cared for peach cobbler, or that I have never made anything that remotely resembles a cobbler, or that I am trying to stick to my diet.  It looked so pretty and tasty that I starting absolutely craving it. A normal person might have just bought a cobbler at the grocery store/bakery, or maybe just ordered a slice at one of the meat-and-veggies places around here. Not me, though.  I decided then and there that I was going to make a homemade peach cobbler.  And I may or may not have started bragging about it to Brent.

Unfortunately, I lost the recipe (actually didn’t even think to look online until now), so I just tried to buy the ingredients by memory.  Then I found Paula Deen’s peach cobbler recipe, which looked a lot simpler, plus I had all of the ingredients. 

Now, the good peaches really aren’t out yet, so I had to buy the small, firm peaches.  Boooo on that.  Of course, I could have just bought the canned peaches, but no.  That would be cheating.  Actually, I didn’t even think about using canned peaches.

Four cups of fresh peaches + sugar + water:

Sugar, flour, milk mixture:

Then, both of these were combined in a baking dish containing 1 stick of melted butter.  When I first poured it all in the baking dish, it just looked like peaches floating in a milky, syrup-y liquid.  The recipe assured me that the “crust” mixture would rise to the top during baking.  I baked it at 350 for 45 minutes.

When the oven timer went off, I practically ran to the kitchen, licking my lips.  I opened the oven door and……the “cobbler” looked NO DIFFERENT than when I put it in the oven.  No different.  No crust, just (hot) peaches floating in a syrup-y liquid goo.  I almost cried.  I already had the Coolwhip thawed.

Then I realized what must have happened.  The flour.  Of course.  This is the SECOND time I have been burned by flour!!!!  (The first time was when I tried to make Thelma’s biscuits shortly after we were married….didn’t use self-rising flour and they were hard as rocks.  We couldn’t even break them by throwing them on the floor!)  The recipe called for self-rising flour, but apparently the flour I used must have been all-purpose.  Booo.  [I would just like to say, in my defense, that calling something “all purpose” is confusing.  Right?  I mean, come on,  clearly it is not truly “all-purpose” if it cannot be used for all purposes!!!!!!!]

Well, Brent had a great  laugh at my expense, but his mood quickly soured when he realized that of course this meant no peach cobbler for him. So he turned on me.

Brent (in condescending tone): “WHY would you use all-purpose flour when the recipe clearly called for self-rising?” 

Me (defensive tone): “Well, first of all, the name “all-purpose” is confusing and a little bit deceitful, if you ask me.  Second, I’m not exactly sure what kind of flour it was because I got it out of the tupperware container in the pantry – the bag has already been thrown away  So I can’t say for sure, but I’m assuming I used all-purpose flour because that’s what I usually buy.  Hey, it could just be a bad recipe.  In fact, I bet that’s what happened.  There must be a misprint in Paula’s recipe.”

Brent:  “Um, wait a second……that’s not flour in the tupperware container in the pantry…..it’s powdered sugar.  THAT’S your problem.”

So, there you have it.  I tasted the white powdery substance in the tupperware container and it is, in fact, powdered sugar. No wonder the peaches tasted so fantastic after I took them out of the oven. 

DOMESTIC FAIL. 

The score is currently:

Christen: 3

Homemaking: 12093844666

But let it be known that I am NOT giving up.  I will go down with this ship.  Before the weekend is over, I will have homemade peach cobbler + ice cream.  Just you wait.